Saturday, February 27, 2010

Oh Canada! and other olympic thoughts

Tomorrow is USA vs. Canada for the men's hockey gold medal. The US beat Canada 5-3 in their first match in these olympics. While Im voting for the United States, I was surprised to see them beat Canada. If Canada loses tomorrow, I view that as crushing for Canada and Canadians. Shouldn't happen, but I hope it does. Any thoughts? Predictions?

These olympics have really tried to build up the 'rivalry' between the S. Korean and Japanese women figure skaters. Get real! It's not a rivalry until you hire a hitman to break your opponents legs (reference Nancy Kerrigan and Tanya Harding from the United States).

Also, good on you to the Canadian woman figure skater who won bronze (after the s. korean and japan skaters) just days after her mother passed away. Good for you! The olympics doesn't have to create a pretend rivalry, they should focus on this woman's triumph in the face of tragedy.

Another story line that I've really liked is Bode Miller. This is a guy who fucked off during the last olympics when he was expected to medal in several events and brought home dick (if he even had that after all the partying he did and sluts he probably fucked). After being written off and not being mentioned during these olympics, bode won a gold, a silver and a bronze. Comeback story of these olympics. Bode, NOW you can party!

I love the Russian skater (Plushenko) who lost to the American skater in the mens figure skating competition. The guy is still upset that he did the "quad" and lost to a guy who doesnt do jumps. Hes taking it a step further by insisting in interviews that he should have won the gold. His personal website even called his silver medal the "platinum" medal until he had to take it down due to the controversy it caused. What this guy really needs to do is take the loss like a man (to the extent a gay skater can), quit skating and look for roles in movies as the villain. With that lame haircut and that face that I'm not even sure his mother can love, he would be perfect.

Anybody watch the woman's 'Skeleton' competition? - looks like head first luge to me, but who knows what the difference is. Is a huge ass a requirement to participate in woman's skeleton? Im just sayin...

On another front, do you have to have no cock to be in men's cross country skiing? I mean, if you're cockless, perhaps avoid the skintight shiny spandex suit. These dumbasses are probably the same ones who would wear a speedo to the beach, then wonder what all the snickering is about. Goes back to a recurring theme - everything is not for everybody.

Lastly, why the fuck is curling an olympic sport? In fact, why the fuck is it even a sport? If you have to bring your mom's old school kitchen broom to the arena, its just not a sport. Enough said.

P.S. Shaun White is insane crazy talented. He also joins lil wayne on my list of guys who would never get laid if they weren't rich/famous.

Sunday, February 21, 2010


Everyone should have at least one threesome so they can cross that off their to do list. After that, avoid them because they're too much of a circus and create too much drama. And never, ever, ever (never ever? NEVER EVER!) have a threesome including your significant other. I guarantee that if you dont listen to me and do it anyways, one of two things will happen - 1. your significant other will forever hound you with dumb questions/comments like "you seemed to be more into her/him than me", "was he/she better than me", "I bet you want to do that again just so you can fuck him/her again", "I didnt like being second" and other stupid shit (my experience) or 2. they will leave you and end up with the guy/girl you had the threesome with (I saw it on Jerry Springer so it must be true).

Therefore, take it from the Blogologist - Find yourself one freak who is like two women (or two men, or a man and a women) in bed and dont lose them.

Coming soon in a future blog - the separately disturbing trends of guys going to the gym solely to analyze other guys' packages (guys you know what im talking about) and too many follow up questions being asked during my confessions on Sundays.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Confession Part I

First, thanks to all who participated in the coke vs. pepsi poll. I hope readers will continue to vote so we can base our final result on a larger number of votes.

I've decided to do a series of 'confessions' via this blog. Some are serious, some are interesting observations I have about myself. In any event, they are me and never before shared with anyone. I'll start with two and will continue in future blogs -

1. I admit that I watch the ice skating portions of the olympics and I hope for slips, falls, crashes and other fuck ups.

2. I used to work for a small company that did not have all the internet tracking and monitoring software that most companies have nowadays. While I didn't do it regularly (and Id definitely admit it if I did because I am pro masturbation), occasionally I'd watch internet porn and jerk off into my wastebasket under my desk. One night, while "working" late, I heard the office door open, couldnt react quickly enough because I was about to explode in my wastebasket, and my boss walked in. He started talking to me from the doorway about a project I was working on and I kept PRAYING to the good lord that he would not come any closer because my cock was out, cum was dripping into my basket and I had porn on my screen. Fortunately, he didnt but it would have been my worst firing ever if he had. Since then, Ive banned myself from jerking off at work, which leads to alot of wanking in the car.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Pepsi vs. Coke - Vote

I've always been curious about what the general public prefers - pepsi or coke. So I'd like to put it to a vote - by commenting on this posting, please choose your preference - pepsi or coke. There are only two choices, pepsi or coke, no diet, no cherry, no anything else. Just Pepsi or Coke. Thanks in advance for participating in this poll.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

"What happens when the saints go marching in? they win!"

Ok, vogued out. I deserved that. I was confident, perhaps even overconfident, that the Colts had an easy win here. They didn't. That lost just cost me some money, which sucks, particularly when I thought I was in for some easy money. But, I give all the credit in the world to the Saints. They were the better team, they deserved to win. While I won't jump on the Saints win somehow making up for Katrina theory (on what planet?), I do give the Saints credit for a solid win and an amazing season. Next up - I'll turn my attention to the NBA and the World's game - the World Cup.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

You're either an activist..or you're an inactivist

As a follow up to a few sentences regarding the humane society in one of my prior blogs, I saw the documentary "The Cove" yesterday. Someone recommended it to me after reading my comments about the humane society and about people being desensitized to seeing disfigured, gruesome images of animals and being asked for money. The title of this blog comes from the documentary and I really like the quote. It is a documentary regarding the Japanese town of Taishi and the dolphin 'fishing' industry that it houses.

While The Cove didn't turn me into an animal rights activists (I continue to think human rights should take precedence and am amazed at how much people care about their animals, but how little people care about other people), it was an eye opening documentary that the filmmakers went to great lengths to make. I recommend that anyone who has the time to see it do so. I'd also be interested in comments from those who have already seen it or will make the effort to see it now.

P.S. Even with the possibility of Dwight being out of action for the Colts tomorrow, I am confirming my view of a Colts win in the Super Bowl.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

The Hangover

No Oscar nominations for "The Hangover"?! Who nominates the movies for the Oscars? They should be fired. Even Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles (god bless his soul) could see this is a major fuck up. I am boycotting the Oscars out of protest. Let's make this the least viewed Oscars ever. I hope Kanye shows up drunk and interrupts every 'winner's speech during the show. Bitches.