Monday, October 10, 2011


1.  Why is zsa zsa gabor being hospitalized every week newsworthy?  I mean it is literally a weekly occurrence so Im really not sure I need to hear about the zsa zsa hospitalization of the week.  She's been irrelevant for years.  Actually, she was never relevant.

2.  Why did we have to lose Steve Jobs?  Steve was a genius and we lost him much too soon.  Pancreatic cancer is the deadliest cancer and has the LEAST amount of research funding.  Sad.

3.  Why did Ashton Kutcher go marry someone older than his mother if he was just going to hookup with two girls.  Dumbass! (i mean for marrying someone twice his mothers age).

4.  Why was Justin Timberlake so awesome in Social Network, even thought he sucks at, and in, everything else. 

5.  Why is Casey Anthony not responding to my requests for an interview?

6.  Why do women think men want a finger in their asshole while theyre being sucked off?  Who are the fucking guys who are making women believe that shit is okay?  Keep the fingers OUT of the asshole (at least mine).  Thanks.

7.  Why has Tiger Woods gone through the greatest fall from grace in sports history?  Good lord man, Karma is really fucking you in the ass.  Big change from you fucking porn stars in the ass.

8.  Why is Floyd Mayweather still avoiding fighting Manny Pacquiao?  Your legacy will never be complete son!

9.  Why has my one tranny blog reader disappeared?  For that matter, where have all the trannys gone?

10.  Why is obama lucky enough that the stupid republicans cant even present one candidate who is not an idiot to challenge him?  Obama 2012! - chat via blog function works! 

Saturday, October 1, 2011

I've found my polar opposite - Thoughts?

Source: Yahoo Sports.

Ladies: Rocco Grimaldi requests you cover up for GodI respect Rocco Grimaldi, the California kid that the Florida Panthers selected in the second round of the 2011 draft and is going to play for North Dakota this season. (Where he could be rookie of the year in the WCHA.)
I respect that he's a role model for young players, who see a 5-foot-6 forward on a path to the NHL. I respect that he's a devout Christian who uses social media to preach what he believes, even if his candor may have scared off some teams at the draft.
I respect that, in the end, Grimaldi views faith as a way to affect positive change in someone's life and in society, which is a view I imagine places him in the majority in the United States.
What I don't respect, however, are Twitter rants that espouse Puritanical nonsense about how women need to cover themselves lest their feminine curves tempt men.
Rocco wants to know, ladies: Are you honoring God with those jeans that make your butt look great?

Here are Rocco's observations about the female form from his Twitter feed (@RGrimaldi23):

Ladies: Rocco Grimaldi requests you cover up for God

There's a thin line between "ladies are too scantily clad these days" and "God wants you in a potato sack because your brothers can't help themselves," and Rocco ran through it. I mean, to each his own, but in my eyes this entire request veers uncomfortably close to the asinine "she was asking for it/look how she was dressed" denouncement women have had to battle for decades.
Rocco moved on to the fellas after that:
"Guys, when did sleeping with every girl u can make u a man? Anyone can lay with a woman. And don't blame the women for how they dress. Don't say it's because they want attention. Don't blame ur "curiosity" or that u just wanted a little taste of what it would be like. Women are not an object for playing with. Sex is a gift from God. We have made it idolatry by how we use it. We blame the women for what they're wearing, we blame the media for what they're producing, but we never blame OURSELVES for how WE'VE twisted God's gift to only glorify ourselves. WE are the men and WE are to blame. God put US in charge of this earth so WE are the ones who need to man up and lay down our lust. Don't fall into that temptation. If you don't do this, you may be a boy for the rest of ur life #ManUp"
So, in summary: Women should cover their boobs and ask if God approves of their outfit in case it unfairly tempts men, but men only have themselves to blame if they're tempted sexually.
Huh, weird … you usually never see contradictions in religious dogma …
Like I said: I respect Grimaldi, immensely, for having this level of candor and using his modicum of fame for what he believes is his mission on this rock. I follow him on Twitter, and 98 percent of what he writesreads like an inspiration poster in a Christian greeting card store. Please don't misconstrue this as some attempt to silence him.
But his comments about women are the kind of sexist, archaic thoughts that cloud the positive impact of faith. As a (lapsed) Roman Catholic myself, it's a constant struggle: You believe there are aspects of religion that are undoubtedly beneficial, but they're constantly overshadowed by clunky views on sex and gender that repel people and open up the entire community to ridicule.
I hate to make this into Dan Ellis Part Deux, but it's the same principle: The messages Rocco Grimaldi shares have value, if not to me or you than to someone else. His heart's in the right place with the comments about men; his comments about women drown them out.
His best argument against the objectification of women was to objectify them. We can't give an "amen" to that.
s/t to Minnesota Slim for the tip.

Monday, August 8, 2011

You can 'luke', but only Luke can touch!

In previous blogs, I've written about breast implants including a May 4 blog dedicated to the topic.

As a development that lets me know the blog is providing a valuable public service, one of the readers of the blog was kind enough to let me know that she has taken the plunge and gotten breast implants. As one should do in a situation like this, I naturally asked for evidence of this exciting news.

So to my reader and muse, congratulations on a (boob) job well done! And to Luke, enjoy them you lucky sonofabitch!

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Let me read you my Wikipedia entry...

He used to be a player, fly girl layer and a love maker, heart
RIP Keith Elam, you were a star!

Casey Anthony aka OJ Simpson got off for murder. Maybe OJ and Casey can now date (or is OJ still in jail). Not to get off topic, but what sort of dumbass gets off for murder, then gets thrown in for some dumb shit. Yes, that would be OJ. I think the entire prosecution team for the Casey Anthony case should be disbarred. Seriously, you can't get a fucking conviction against her? Reminds me of fucking Marcia Clark and Christopher Darden. And the jurors - What's wrong with you tards? Did the law change? Can you no longer convict on circumstantial evidence? Fn morons.

Getting fingerbanged by someone with dirty nails is unhealthy. Yes, you can call me C Everett Koop

US womens soccer team gave away the World Cup. Congrats to Japan, they needed some good news. I hate this time of year, baseball isnt even a real sport and theres nothing else going on in the sports world.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

I'm not a star, somebody lied...

Hello Everybody. After a hiatus, I am back.

Generally speaking, I dont watch any sporting event involving women except for hot body contests or wet t shirt contests. However, this past weekend I was bored (and drunk) enough to watch the women's world cup (soccer) - US vs Brazil. Other than the fact that the supposed women's goal scoring star (Marta from Brazil) spent most of her time crying about fouls (reminding me of that lil bitch Kobe), I was surprised to see an exciting ending to the match. In extra time, the US scored the game tying goal (Wambach, you go! but lose the dyke haircut please) and then went on to win in the shootout (well done Hope Solo! and nice job on the non-dykey haircut).

Follow up re: the Haye - Klitschko fight (thanks for the prompt Alex). As mentioned in a prior blog, I was looking forward to the Haye fight against Wladimir Klitschko. This was largely due to the fact that I feel both Klitschkos are pussies and wanted someone to knock their heads right off their shoulders. Unfortunately, that would not be David Haye. While Wladimir sucked as usual, Haye was overly defensive and just seemed to be trying to last 12 rounds and say he didnt get knocked out. Then after the fight, he blamed his injured toe because he couldnt push off of it. Really? Thats the best you could think of? The sad thing is that if Haye had actually fought, he might have won. Pathetic.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Dallas Mavericks! Plus...

I'm fighting the urge to say I TOLD YOU SO! regarding the mavs in 6 over the heat. Obviously Im not fighting it too well. All I can say is, couldnt have happened to a better opponent. And Lebron's comments on the way out just confirmed he's a loser. Better than Michael Jordan???? Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!

I didnt write much about the NHL finals because I didnt really have a favorite between Vancouver and Boston. But way to fuck it up Vancouver!

Whats with all these cities that give you traffic tickets using video cameras? I havent gotten one yet, but know many people who have. I think its bs. Law enforcement should have to actually stop you and ticket you personally for it to count. Thats only fair. Also, I've seen far too many people floor it to clear the intersection before the light turns red so they DONT get a ticket. This actually creates more danger than if someone didnt have to worry about the stupid video tickets and just went through a yellow calmly.

Comcast still sucks. Did anyone take advantage of that feedback provided by Comcast to my previous Comcast sucks dick blog and did Comcast actually do anything to keep your business? Just curious.

Summer is finally here! Beaches, bikinis, tan lines (or lack thereof). Enough said!

Whats with the guys wearing the huge FAKE earrings. Since you're not really fooling anyone with your fake 18 carat kevin garnett wanna be earrings, whats the fucking point?...Am I the only one who finds that to be stupid.

Boxing on HBO tonight! (google talk via chat works again!)
twitter - nut_juice

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Has Scottie Pippen lost his goddamn mind?

I'll start by saying, I love scottie pippen. As a fan of the Michael Jordan led Bulls, I always loved Scottie's abilities, defensive presence and Jordan's deputy status. Of course, I knew who that MJ was the greatest, on that team, and overall.

So when Scottie spouted off about Michael may be the greatest scorer of all time, but that Lebron may end up being the best all around player of all time, I was disgusted. Scottie should know better. He saw superman up close and personal. He saw that Jordan's skill, drive, competitive spirit etc. is second to none. Jordan was a monster on offense and a monster on defense. He took entire teams of bums (jud buechler? wilt perdue? pete myers? i could go on and on) and made them champions.

Lebron is nowhere close. He hasnt made his teammates better, in cleveland or in miami. Hes not a monster on defense. And he couldnt win where he was, he had to leave cleveland and join a team with better players for a shot to win. So Scottie and all others, shut the fuck up with the Lebron is or could be better than Jordan. Him trying to join a franchise that is trying to 'buy' a championship puts a full stop on any discussions about his greatness, now or in the future.

Then, along comes Kareem to educate Scottie about how MJ is not the greatest scorer. He believes that honor belongs to fossils like Bill Russell and Wilt Chamberlain. Fucking seriously? Those tall fossils played against a bunch of little boys and sat under the basket and threw the ball into Bozo's bucket number 1. Get a life Kareem.

All that being said, MAVS in 6 over the Heat. Get some!

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Indianapolis 500

This weekend is the Indianapolis 500. I mean..who really gives a fuck? I never cease to be amazed by the popularity of NASCAR and Formula 1.

Friday, April 8, 2011

May Day May Day

Random Thoughts - I'm feeling the red heels with the jeans look. Are the Jets turning into the Raiders due to all the issues theyre having? Favre's retirement - I was hoping for better on and off the football field. Although I hate em, the Patriots look like the best team in football right now. If they continue to play that way, theyre going to be tough to beat. I should be banned from having a twitter account - every time i get inspired to use it, I fuck it up. Obama's core team has left the White House to begin Obama '12 campaign. Can he pull it off again? Did banning smoking from virtually everywhere lead to people quitting or do they just smoke alot at home now? I dont mind a little smoking, but whats with the jagoffs who throw their cigarettes out of their cars? Why not just legalize cannabis, and not just for medicinal purposes? Johnny Weir (men's figure skater) announces he's gay - was anyone really wondering about that? It's kind of like when Rosie O' Donnell announced shes gay. Did that really require an announcement? I'm loving my Kindle - good call by Santa. Anyone trade stocks - any good stock tips? Switzerland doesnt use Euros - annoying. Hungary has the EU presidency currently - wtf? Hungary? hmmm. Doesn't anyone dance (versus dry hump) anymore? Whatever happened to just dancing? Who are the assholes who pee all over every public toilet seat I end up needing to use? Is that really fn necessary? And if you cant hit a fn foot wide space with your pee stream, how about just cleaning up your own fucking pee. What happened to the hoopla over global warming? Have we resigned ourselves to an environmental disaster? Paging Al Gore! The moon follows me wherever I go. Anyone intentionally looked at the eclipse when you were younger because youre told not to? What happened? Did you go blind?

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

It aint no fun if the homies cant have none

Am I the only one who wonders why Snoop Dogg has sucked since his debut Doggy Style album in 1993? The Doggy Style album was unbelievable,a standard setting hip hop album. The rhymes, the beats and even the guest appearances on Doggy Style were awesome.

Then...Snoop made nearly two decades of SHIT music. Snoop became a caricature of himself, holding the pimp cup (snoop a pimp???? get fn serious!), and became someone who cant even be taken seriously anymore. Yes, he had the occasional commercial hit (like Beautiful with Pharrell) but he basically churned out nearly two decades of garbage (who even buys his shit?).

Which begs the question, what the fuck happened??? The only way I can explain it is Dr Dre because the one key change since Doggy Style has been that Snoop was no longer with Dre. Which begs the question - would Deep Cover (187 on an undercover cop!) or Doggy Style have been the same without Dre? Is the success of that song and album actually more attributable to Dre than Snoop?

PS - When is Dr Dre going to release the long long long awaited DETOX album so people might fall in love with hip hop all over again?