Sunday, July 25, 2010

We'll have a party of all lefties screaming out all right

Greetings.  An interesting 'fact' has recently come to my attention and I thought I'd blog about it and solicit comments/input.  Actually, it didnt literally just come to my attention but after having several of the same deja vu experiences, I put 2 and 2 together.

While we men are simple minded creatures and love all breasts equally, I've had several experiences where women have said they think one of their breasts looks better than the other.  Being male, I initially wrote it off as women being overly critical of their bodies, but the last time it happened I paid attention (honestly, the only reason I did was because I already knew there was going to be no sex that night) and lo and behold - I could see it!!!

While slight, there was a difference in size, in fullness and dammit, I also began to like her left one better than the right one!  What was even more interesting was that during sex after I came to this realization, whether with her right hand or left hand, she always played with the left one and never the right one. 

Setting aside the issue of the inferiority complex her right breast might have, I thought back to other times when women have in passing mentioned they like one better the other and began to wonder - other than those women who are blessed with perfectly identical breasts, do other women have a preference?  If you do, why?  Is it size? shape? responsiveness? 

I'd be interested in female comments - is this in fact a general view of women or did I just happen to run into a handful of women who discriminate against one of their breasts?  I'm conducting an informal poll, respond to it by commenting on this blog - 1.  Do you have a preference?  2. If you do, on what basis?  3.  Have men noticed the difference independently of you talking about it?  4.  Can I come over and see the difference for myself?

P.S. To answer Michelle's 'why' question - I have absolutely no idea why someone tried to get my blog shut down.  I suppose I've said enough things here to have offended most people one day or another.  But if Blogger would shut me down based on what I say, then this isnt the right forum for me anyways.  Im anti-censorship.

P.S.2 Agree with Rob's comment regarding the last world cup.  But don't feel bad - the stooges from France made England's team look normal and together.

P.S.3  Laney, fight the power!  If more women became comfortable with their sexuality, 'society' would change its expectations of women.  It would be slow, but it would happen.  Now that's change you can believe in!

Sunday, July 18, 2010


Why are women still lying about their number of sexual partners in 2010?

Why is heavyweight boxing absolute garbage to the point where the lame Klitschko brothers hold belts?

Why is BP fucking up the entire Gulf with no real consequences?  The environmental disaster caused is going to impact generations to come. 

Why are we missing lil wayne so much while he does his time?

Why is Fidel Castro back on the scene?

Why cant we repeal the second amendment and save thousands of innocents?

Why did Holland give away the World Cup?

Why cant baseball have more Carlos Zambranos so people care to watch it?

Why am I rooting against the 'lets buy a championship' Heat the same way I do against the Yankees?

Why isnt everyone loving the chat in email google feature as much as I do?

Why arent all women doing their breast exams?

Why is pancreatic cancer the most deadly form of cancer and has the least funding?

Why are vuvuzelas going to take over all sporting events?

Why cant they legalize marijuana and make cigarettes illegal?  Seems like a fair trade.

Why am I an insomniac?

Why did half the Utah Jazz roster sign with the bulls?

Why does Dos Equis have the coolest commercials on tv with 'the most interesting man in the world'?

Why am I glad Oprah is retiring?

Why wear granny panties with white pants?  Thats all kinds of wrong.

Why is 'thick' slowly becoming just plain old 'fat'?

Why are there lurkers checking out packages in gym locker rooms?

Why in the world do people move from California?  Especially SoCal.

Lastly, why are we particularly loving the bikinis, tans and tan lines this summer? 

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Please allow me to reintroduce myself!

I'm back.  It seems jealousy truly does breed contempt.  Some insecure eunuch was so cyber obsessed that the stalker tried to have the blog shut down. 

You cant stop the rain, you cant stop the kid, and therefore.... you cant stop the blog!

Back to business.

Thursday, July 8, 2010


Today, I had to fire someone. I had been avoiding it for a year. I told him numerous times to not put me in a position where Id have to do something we would both not be happy with. He just couldnt help himself. He refused to address the performance issues that numerous people highlighted. What sucks is that im out of town on a project and had to fire him by phone. He cried. Not cool.

On a separate note, IT remotely accessed my computer because it keeps crashing. Mr. IT, after recommending stupid things like rebooting and not keeping so many screens open (what are you the fucking screen police? or IT?), he proceeds to tell me that my computer is "all ready to go." After spending an hour on the phone with this idiot, listening to his stupid suggestions, and then being told its fixed, the computer crashed the second I began to use it. I am convinced my company has the worst tech support on the planet.

In other news, Lindsey Lohan is going to jail. Good! Talk about long overdue.

I'm told that my blog doesn't exist online anymore. I see it, but others dont. I guess I'm talking to an audience of one.

Whats with the girls who stop giving head the second you start cumming? Finish your job!

Apple is the greatest company in the world and Steve Jobs is a genius.

Today one of my colleagues went into a detailed discussion about their dental history and veneers. I mean...seriously? I couldnt even fake caring like I usually do. I was so bored I wanted to impale myself.

I wont consider this blog to have 'arrived' until we have a regular tranny reader and contributor. Is that too much to ask?

There's alot of Asians. I dont mean just in China. Anywhere in the world you go, there are a hell of a lot of asians. I dont think the hispanics should celebrate being on their way to having greater numbers than the caucasians quite yet, the chinese are going to blow everyone away.

Id like to slap my neighbor. Its a woman.

Germany is out of the world cup. Fuck em!

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Football Final Four & Fleshlights

What is going on in the World Cup? My teams (Brazil and Argentina) are out. Not only are they out, they both got whipped in their final games. A final four of Germany, Spain, Uruguay and Netherlands? Who would have predicted those four. While I will miss the attention (positive and negative) that Diego Maradona brought to the world cup and am extremely disappointed that Lionel Messi did not shine in the Cup like I thought he would, I am going with Uruguay for the Cup. They are the longest shot left, but why the hell not given the upsets that have already happened. I note that I think the Germans are playing fantastic team soccer, but I want the dark horse (uruguay) to take it. Who is your pick to win it?

Anyone know what the fleshlight is? If you dont, google it. I'm a little upset because I am actually the inventor of an earlier, more basic version of the fleshlight, but didnt have the presence of mind to patent it at the time. My version was simple, readily available and inexpensive - it was a snapple bottle. It was truly 'the best stuff on earth.' For a long time my snapple fleshlight was old reliable, until the day I realized I had outgrown it. At first I panicked, but once I calmed down, I let the rush of blood to the 'head' die down, extracted my tool and retired the snapple fleshlight. And now, these fn assholes from 'fleshlight' are profiting from my idea. And guys, dont judge me, I know all of you have stuck your organ in all sorts of holes that you'd never tell your women/woman about.

P.S. I hate 'friends' who disappear when they have some cock/pussy in their life and come running back when it doesnt work out.

P.P.S. I received a picture from a blog reader who wanted me to post it and have the readers vote on whether she should 'reup' her implants. Once I figure out how to not only post the picture, but also to have a 'vote' I will put the picture up. Thanks for the emails, I read, appreciate and reply to all of them.