Friday, April 30, 2010

LA Fakers featuring Kobe Cryant (thanks for that one Jon)

I'm watching game 6 of the Lakers-Thunder series and while the Thunder are keeping it close they just aren't playing like they did on their home court previously. Theyre just a lil bit off, which is keeping the Lakers in the lead. I was hoping for a big Thunder win setting up a game 7 in LA.

As mentioned before, while Id love for the Thunder to win this series, my main interest is to have them stretch it to seven games and put some mileage on the Lakers before round 2 of the playoffs. Thunder just tied 61-61, intensity is picking up!

What I find sickening is that every time the Thunder get some momentum, they choose to leave Derek Fisher wide open at the three point line the next time down the court. Don't these assholes know yet that Fisher is capable of knocking down wide open threes all night long? Now I'm no Red Auerbach, but here's a novel idea for you assholes, GUARD DEREK FISHER!

I'm also tired (have been for years) of Kobe Cryant crying every time he touches the ball. This guy feels hes being fouled while he still has the warmups on in the lockerroom. He turns and cries to the referees whether he makes a shot or not. He hits threes and cries about how he was fouled. If you're the grand competitor you claim to be, grow some nuts and MAN UP! Stop crying like a lil bitch every time you touch the ball.


Sunday, April 25, 2010

Playoffs = Payoffs

We are in the midst of both the NBA and NHL playoffs. I thought I'd check in and share my initial thoughts with more detailed blogs to follow as the playoffs heat up. First, the NBA playoffs - the general concept is FUCK THE LAKERS! I wll vote for any team that plays against the Lakers until the Lakers are out of the playoffs or end up winning it all (like last year, which sucked alot). I'm happy to see that the OKC/LA series is tied at 2-2, with the Thunder running and gunning and definitely wearing the Lakers out. Even if OKC does not win the series (not very likely, but a small possibility), I hope they take the Lakers the distance and prevent them from getting much rest before the next series. So for now, GO THUNDER!

Unlike the NBA playoffs, I definitely have a favorite in the NHL playoffs, the Pittsburgh Penguins. While there are many good teams in the NHL, I love the way the Pens play hockey. They also won me money last year when they won it all. I am voting for them to do it again this year. They have just completed their first round series against the Ottawa Senators. They didnt play as well as I expected thus far, but seem to be getting it together going into the second round. While I am voting (and betting) for the Penguins, I also want to say FUCK THE WASHINGTON CAPITALS! I want them out of the playoffs and since theyre having trouble with the 8th seed Montreal Canadiens, I believe I will get my wish with the Capitals being ejected from the playoffs. To recap - GO PENS and FUCK THE CAPS!

Saturday, April 10, 2010

My Latex Allergy

Last night was an absolute disaster. My longstanding ''latex allergy" which made condoms a non-requirement with my gf was exposed as a fraud. For as long as I've been with the girlfriend, she's known about my latex allergy which is so serious that I absolutely cannot use condoms (which is good! I wasnt exactly seeking a cure if you know what I mean). Until last night.

That's when, in a moment of drunken stupidity my drunken former college roommate Lefty says, in front of my girlfriend (and her friends, which REALLY was not helpful) - "Dude, you remember that huge box of condoms you had under the bed" First, it was not a HUGE box of condoms, it was a box with ALOT of condoms. Second, it was under the bed, so it was conveniently accessible. College students dont exactly keep condoms in their nightstands, because they dont HAVE nightstands. My nightstand itself was a box with a lamp and an alarm clock on it.

So, here's where I made the worst mistake ever, and pretty much ended any hope of sexual activity with my gf for eternity. After an hour of glares and stares and that "well talk when we get home" look your mom used to give (well, at least my mom used to give me), we finally get home. The whole ride home, Im talking about how tired I am because Im hoping we dont have to have the 'talk' and maybe, just maybe, she wont kill me in my sleep and we can wake up in the morning and cooler heads will prevail. NOT happening!

First question she asked when we walked in the door was, "so, has your latex allergy ever resulted in you acquiring any STDs (yes, she really said acquiring like you purchase them at the store). Something in my brain said, "kid, go with comedy here, because you are a dead man walking." Listening to that something in my brain, I replied "yes, a few times, but it was never anything that a little penicillin couldn't take care of." NOT the response she was looking for. As a result, my night ended with "you might as well become a priest like your [relationship omitted to protect the innocent], because you sure wont be fucking me."

IT WAS A JOKE! My friends thought it was funny. Probably because they have a sense of humor!

Meanwhile, Im on sex hiatus. Well, with her.

Monday, April 5, 2010


Duke with the biggest lead of the game. I have money on Butler, so FUCK DUKE!

UPDATE - No excuses. Congratulations to Duke and the Duke fans. It seems the more I dislike a team, the more likely it becomes that they will win it all. Same crap happens with the LA Lakers. I vote against them every game of the playoffs and they have four championships (in the Kobe/Shaq era) to show for it.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Final Four

I have been wrong about everything so far, but here goes - Butler over Mich St and, as mentioned before, FUCK DUKE! Go Mountaineers! I wanted to get this out there before the games start, will write in greater detail some time this weekend.

UPDATE - Butler wins over Michigan State. Great game. One down, One to go. Go West Virginia. For sports fans, after the Duke game is going to be the boxing match Bernard Hopkins vs. Roy Jones Jr. If Roy loses, which most people are saying he will, it will more than likely be the end of a Hall of Fame boxing career for him. Worth paying for pay per view? No. Worth going over to a bar or your friend's house who is getting the fight, a definite yes. Roy Jones Jr. fighting for his career.

UPDATE 2 - Fucking Duke. Won again. This is absolutely killing me. GO BUTLER!