LA Fakers featuring Kobe Cryant (thanks for that one Jon)

I'm watching game 6 of the Lakers-Thunder series and while the Thunder are keeping it close they just aren't playing like they did on their home court previously. Theyre just a lil bit off, which is keeping the Lakers in the lead. I was hoping for a big Thunder win setting up a game 7 in LA.

As mentioned before, while Id love for the Thunder to win this series, my main interest is to have them stretch it to seven games and put some mileage on the Lakers before round 2 of the playoffs. Thunder just tied 61-61, intensity is picking up!

What I find sickening is that every time the Thunder get some momentum, they choose to leave Derek Fisher wide open at the three point line the next time down the court. Don't these assholes know yet that Fisher is capable of knocking down wide open threes all night long? Now I'm no Red Auerbach, but here's a novel idea for you assholes, GUARD DEREK FISHER!

I'm also tired (have been for years) of Kobe Cryant crying every time he touches the ball. This guy feels hes being fouled while he still has the warmups on in the lockerroom. He turns and cries to the referees whether he makes a shot or not. He hits threes and cries about how he was fouled. If you're the grand competitor you claim to be, grow some nuts and MAN UP! Stop crying like a lil bitch every time you touch the ball.

GO THUNDER!

Playoffs = Payoffs

We are in the midst of both the NBA and NHL playoffs. I thought I'd check in and share my initial thoughts with more detailed blogs to follow as the playoffs heat up. First, the NBA playoffs - the general concept is FUCK THE LAKERS! I wll vote for any team that plays against the Lakers until the Lakers are out of the playoffs or end up winning it all (like last year, which sucked alot). I'm happy to see that the OKC/LA series is tied at 2-2, with the Thunder running and gunning and definitely wearing the Lakers out. Even if OKC does not win the series (not very likely, but a small possibility), I hope they take the Lakers the distance and prevent them from getting much rest before the next series. So for now, GO THUNDER!

Unlike the NBA playoffs, I definitely have a favorite in the NHL playoffs, the Pittsburgh Penguins. While there are many good teams in the NHL, I love the way the Pens play hockey. They also won me money last year when they won it all. I am voting for them to do it again this year. They have just completed their first round series against the Ottawa Senators. They didnt play as well as I expected thus far, but seem to be getting it together going into the second round. While I am voting (and betting) for the Penguins, I also want to say FUCK THE WASHINGTON CAPITALS! I want them out of the playoffs and since theyre having trouble with the 8th seed Montreal Canadiens, I believe I will get my wish with the Capitals being ejected from the playoffs. To recap - GO PENS and FUCK THE CAPS!

My Latex Allergy

Last night was an absolute disaster. My longstanding ''latex allergy" which made condoms a non-requirement with my gf was exposed as a fraud. For as long as I've been with the girlfriend, she's known about my latex allergy which is so serious that I absolutely cannot use condoms (which is good! I wasnt exactly seeking a cure if you know what I mean). Until last night.

That's when, in a moment of drunken stupidity my drunken former college roommate Lefty says, in front of my girlfriend (and her friends, which REALLY was not helpful) - "Dude, you remember that huge box of condoms you had under the bed" First, it was not a HUGE box of condoms, it was a box with ALOT of condoms. Second, it was under the bed, so it was conveniently accessible. College students dont exactly keep condoms in their nightstands, because they dont HAVE nightstands. My nightstand itself was a box with a lamp and an alarm clock on it.

So, here's where I made the worst mistake ever, and pretty much ended any hope of sexual activity with my gf for eternity. After an hour of glares and stares and that "well talk when we get home" look your mom used to give (well, at least my mom used to give me), we finally get home. The whole ride home, Im talking about how tired I am because Im hoping we dont have to have the 'talk' and maybe, just maybe, she wont kill me in my sleep and we can wake up in the morning and cooler heads will prevail. NOT happening!

First question she asked when we walked in the door was, "so, has your latex allergy ever resulted in you acquiring any STDs (yes, she really said acquiring like you purchase them at the store). Something in my brain said, "kid, go with comedy here, because you are a dead man walking." Listening to that something in my brain, I replied "yes, a few times, but it was never anything that a little penicillin couldn't take care of." NOT the response she was looking for. As a result, my night ended with "you might as well become a priest like your [relationship omitted to protect the innocent], because you sure wont be fucking me."

IT WAS A JOKE! My friends thought it was funny. Probably because they have a sense of humor!

Meanwhile, Im on sex hiatus. Well, with her.

Butler!

Duke with the biggest lead of the game. I have money on Butler, so FUCK DUKE!

UPDATE - No excuses. Congratulations to Duke and the Duke fans. It seems the more I dislike a team, the more likely it becomes that they will win it all. Same crap happens with the LA Lakers. I vote against them every game of the playoffs and they have four championships (in the Kobe/Shaq era) to show for it.

Final Four

I have been wrong about everything so far, but here goes - Butler over Mich St and, as mentioned before, FUCK DUKE! Go Mountaineers! I wanted to get this out there before the games start, will write in greater detail some time this weekend.

UPDATE - Butler wins over Michigan State. Great game. One down, One to go. Go West Virginia. For sports fans, after the Duke game is going to be the boxing match Bernard Hopkins vs. Roy Jones Jr. If Roy loses, which most people are saying he will, it will more than likely be the end of a Hall of Fame boxing career for him. Worth paying for pay per view? No. Worth going over to a bar or your friend's house who is getting the fight, a definite yes. Roy Jones Jr. fighting for his career.

UPDATE 2 - Fucking Duke. Won again. This is absolutely killing me. GO BUTLER!

Fuck Duke! (and the damn Cornhuskers too!)

Fuck Duke! I've been following the NCAA MENS (why do the women even have a tournament?
What exactly is interesting about watching four quarters of a layup a thon? I'd rather watch curling.) college basketball tournament. Other than Kentucky, my brackets are in worse shape than Oprah on the upside of her yo yo diets and I have no hopes of winning anything unless KY wins it all (which is still very possible). So at this point, I'm following the tried and true sports fan strategy when your team is eliminated - you find the teams that you hate the most and vote against them with a passion. In that light, I'd like to say FUCK DUKE! I've never liked Duke, its players or its coach and I hope Baylor beats Duke like Ike did Tina and sends them home. And if not Baylor, then whoever Duke plays next...

On a related note, fuck the Washington Capitals, New York Yankees, the Dallas Cowboys and the LA Lakers. And Floyd Mayweather too. I said it!

On the topic of sports, how many people know anyone from Nebraska? Unfortunately, I do, including someone I met last night. Here is what I dont understand about people from Nebraska - why is it that they can only talk about one thing: The Nebraska Cornhuskers. I mean, when I think of Nebraska, nothing even mildly exciting comes to mind so I can understand that the only exciting thing in all of Nebraska might be the Cornhuskers. Even the team's name doesn't exactly get one excited. But the people I'm talking about are not in Nebraska. They've been gone so long they've even lost the Nebraska drawl. In spite of having left the country for the city, and years later, they still only talk about the bloody Cornhuskers. So, if you're from Nebraska, for the love of god stop talking about the lame Cornhuskers! Get a hobby! Get a job! Watch some porn! Meet some trannys! Smoke some Kobe! Enough with the lame Cornhuskers, noone wants to hear about them everytime you open your mouth. I feel better now.

GO BAYLOR! GO KENTUCKY!

Confession Part II

I believe each of us have an episode (or more) in our lives that we would kill to do over. Mine absolutely haunts me to this day, is as vivid as it occurred this morning and changed me as a person forever.

One morning on the way back from high school on the bus (yes, I was carless throughout high school so had the privilege of riding the yellow bus two times each school day until I graduated), the bus driver had gotten off the bus while waiting for all the kids to get on the bus and be seated.

I was seated about five rows from the front. A girl got on the bus and was trying to get her bag under her seat (Girl 1). A second girl (Girl 2) got on the bus immediately after her and lost her patience with how long it was taking the first girl to get in her seat. Girl 2 told Girl 1 to move. Girl 1 didnt answer. Girl 2 told girl 1 to move again. Girl 1 didnt answer. Girl 2 then pushed Girl 1 who was trying to situate her bag. Girl 1 turned around surprised. Girl 2 punched her, pulled her hair and kept punching her. The bus driver was off the bus. Noone (including me) did anything. Girl 2 went ballistic on Girl 1. Finally, a student got up and pulled Girl 2 off of Girl 1, but not before Girl 1 was hurt.

After reading the above, one might ask - ok, not great that it happened, but why is this the one you would want a do over on? Kids fight at school, it happens.

The answer is, while everybody might not have known, some of us (including me) knew that Girl 1 was DEAF. She didnt move because she couldnt hear Girl 2 telling her to move. To this day, I am disgusted by myself for standing by and watching it happen. For not having the courage or the guts to be the first to stop the beating immediately.

At random times, I remember the look on Girl 1's face, the helplessness, the surprise and the pain. I hate that it happened on my watch. I sometimes have the crazy thought of finding Girl 1 wherever she is and apologizing to her for being a gutless bastard when I was in high school.

While Im disgusted by myself, by the event and it will probably haunt me forever, it also changed me forever. Since that day I have never stood around and looked the other way while I know something that is wrong is going on. Standing around and watching someone being made fun of, ridiculed, taken advantage of, bullied, stolen from, beat up is akin to you doing the same thing to the victim. Never again.

I've been in countless arguments, disagreements, fights etc because I've stepped in when noone else would. I dont just step in, I do it immediately. Some say its stupid, some say its dangerous, some say its none of my business. Through this process, I've also learned that getting punched in the face doesn't feel good, but punching someone else in the face doesn't feel much better. But I absolutely will not stand by while someone is victimized. Noone should. When good people don't stop bad things from happening, those bad things continue to happen.

So, although its too little, too late, A.F, wherever in the world you are, I hope life has treated you well and I apologize for what happened to you on a school bus on that January day while I watched and did nothing. I hate myself for it.