Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Please Call me DICK

The question of the day - What in the world would make someone named Richard want to be called DICK? A "Richard" can be called richard, rick, rich, ricky, ricardo etc. But there are actually guys who pass up on all of those reasonable options and decide that they would prefer to be called DICK. A couple of good examples of this idiotic decisionmaking are Dick Cheney (very appropriately named), Dick Van Dyke (no comment!) and Dick Clark.

Am I the only one who thinks that you must be an absolute moron to want to be called DICK? I mean even if my name was Dicktholomew I wouldnt let someone call me DICK. And yet, there are actually people in the world who have a name like Richard that sounds nothing like DICK, who actually CHOOSE to be called DICK.

I know some DICKs will blame their parents for starting the use of the DICK name. Two points about that - First, what sort of ASSHOLE parents would think that it is a good idea to start calling their child DICK? Dont these parents even think about the ridicule their child named DICK will receive? Second, even if your parents were insane enough to call you DICK while you were little, the first time in your life when you realize that your name is synonymous with PENIS, why would you not IMMEDIATELY tell everyone (including your crazy ass parents) that your name is RICHARD or some 'normal' variation of it and the next person who calls you DICK will get slapped hard.

Any DICKs read the blog? Id be interested to hear your explanation (can there even possibly be one?) of how you decided that being called DICK for your entire life sounded like a great idea.



  1. Those Dicks need to remain Dicks, most men named Dick are named so for a reason.

  2. Drink more and more.