Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Important New Legislation


(photo credit: babble.com)


Several years ago, an acquaintance of mine paid for his ex-gfs implants. When he did, I told him I thought it was a big mistake (due to the dysfunctional nature of their relationship). Sure enough, 3 months after she got her implants, she broke up with him and started seeing another guy and showing her enhanced chest at every local night spot every weekend. I felt bad for him, but I didnt feel bad for him, if you know what I mean.

Here's a tip - if you have a dysfunctional relationship and are broken up every second week, and most of your conversations consist of calling each other asshole, motherfucker, bitch, slut, manwhore etc - probably NOT a good idea to spend thousands of dollars to turn her B cups into full Cs.

That being said, in the event that you were dumb enough to pay for your girlfriends tits and she ends up dumping you (not you dumping her), there should be a process by which she should repay you for the investment you made for which you wont benefit anymore (but every guy after you will).

To begin the important dialogue that this country needs on this issue, I will share my views via my proposed legislation. I believe that in such an instance, by law, the implants girl has to choose from one of three options:

1. The "Buyout" - pay him for the cost of the implants minus depreciation for the time he got to enjoy them and move on with your life.

2. The "Rent to Own" - Let him continue to enjoy the implants for a fixed period of time (years, not months). Once that time period is over, you are now the proud owner of your implants, title to the implants will transfer to you and you can move on with your life.

3. "Visitation" - For those guys who are going to miss the babies, I will be pleased to grant a visitation order that will allow you to see and play with the girls one weekend a month until they reach the age of 18 and are emancipated.

lightbreaksthedawn@gmail.com

21 comments:

  1. Any man who prefers fake to real breasts is stupid and deserves to be dumped, like your friends. Fake breasts are 10 years ago, humanity should have evolved from fakes. Smart girls will get whatever they want from stupid men and use whatever they get to get another man.

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  2. All that complication is why I dont date women who would get breast implants. Breast implants are a sign of insecurity and a gold-digging slut.

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  3. I date women like Ashley ;)

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  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  5. I'm going to agree with the above commenters. I have seen, touched and played enough with big , sagging, stretch marked ugly boobs & when the woman lies down they flop down right to the armpits. Sorry I'm saving my money and enjoying smaller perky boobs.

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  6. If you both still can't compromise, there is always judge judy hahaha

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  7. Visitation is by far the best option.

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  8. Jon, the little blondie with the implants would be very hurt by your comment, you were literally attached to her bosom :) when you dated her
    : )
    Regarding the 'payback,' I agree the guy should have enough time to enjoy the boobs he's paid for, but we all have to move on at some point enhanced or not.

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  9. Boyfriends should not pay for girlfriends boobs.

    I don’t have any stats, but my spider sense has always suggested to me that gals who are vain enough to get boobs for elective reasons will not be satisfied by only showing them to one person

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  10. Vogued, I do remember her, I loved to play with those funbags for about 3 weeks then the new wore off and I barely noticed her..

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  11. Oh no no... here is a better plan that worked for me, I only payed for half and that's just because I got to pick the size I wanted and I also worked out a deal that I get to pick a girl to come home with us for the night from time to time. i have been with this girl for 7 years that's the only way to do it.

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  12. What if he paid for my breast reduction?

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  13. Breast implants are tacky and repaying for them is tackier.

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  14. My cheating ex boyfriend paid for mine and I don't owe him a thing.

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  15. Very engaging topic. I have so much to say, but I prefer reading what everyone else has to say.

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  16. I have (and love my) fake breasts. I paid for them myself. But they are steadily paying for themselves, every time a guy takes me on vacation, shopping, etc. I might as well have given myself 1 million dollars, because thats what I look like with my girls nestled into a cute la perla number.

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  17. Ok Tara Reid^^^^ They did a botch job on you and all the creepy, pervy men? you call that paying for themselves?

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  18. Dayuum girls tits are tits.

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  19. One other thing Tara Reid aka Anonymous, La Perla is too classy for fakes, the sales lady forgot to tell you.

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  20. I got mine October 2007....and I love them and so does my fiancee!! I couldn't have asked for a better make divorce present from my EX!

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